Are u depressed??

It seems everyone at one point of their lives have suffered through depression. There are many causes and reasons as to why tt will happen. But it all boils down to stress and pressure one CANNOT take. At many times, it's many things happening at once. You can't take all tt shit at one go.. but shit... it's all charging at u at one go. Tt's life. what are u gonna do about tt? Well, deal with it.

Often when one is faced with shit in life, one has a few options. In some cases one has only ONE choice. In my perspective, they all usually HAVE options. They juz block out those they don't like. Because if they don't like it.. it's not an option. But the only option u like is too far fetched and most likely to drive pple around u crazy... or send them laughing at ur stupidity. Because it's the easy way out..... to nothing. My mum once told me this, "there are no shortcuts in life. stop looking for the easy way out. learn how to walk before u run. coz if u never walked how can u ever run without falling?" My mum is a wise woman.... like a fortune teller. Whatever she tells me will happen... for sure. Like my first N level papers.. my mum said "you're gonna fail. only your english will pass". The nxt day when I went to get my results... I wasn't shocked to find out she was right. I got e8,f9 for everything.. except for my english. See? She's good.

I've met a few pple who tell me their bullshit about why they're depressed. It's not tt I don't have a heart. I juz think these pple brought whatever they're going through upon themselves. Then juz conveniently blame it on somebody else. For instance, you're with this guy. He is ultra nice, you are ultra happy. Then suddenly he becomes ultra mean and tt makes u ultra mad. As time goes by you realise.. tt's him and u can't change him. So u swallow and u give in. Everytime he demands a ridiculous request you give it to him. Hoping one day... he will change. The day finally came.. he changed... he had a change of heart. He breaks up with you and u fall into depression. I understand tt kinda pain sista. But I don't understand why a year lata you're still depressed about the same shit? And it didn't get any better.. juz got worse. Why? You had a choice to end it with him after so many months of torture he put u through. You apparently thought God would make u a saint after putting up with his nonsense. But in the end, he dumped u and you're still mortal. Let's put it this way... u got no more business in his shit anymore. You guys are not married so going seperate ways is probably juz an sms away. He alr dumped u... ur choice now is to stand up and find the nxt better guy. But it's tough... so u think crying, slashing and strongly medicating yourself is the easier way. I'm really sorry to say this.. but you're full of shit. I would give the nickname.. toilet bowl.

I hate it when my friends call me and say they can't take it anymore. They juz wanna die. Hey... it geddit too. I know how it feels to juz wanna die. But the good news is the pple who can call u to tell u tt... usually won't die. It ends up having u listening to them psycho babble for a few hrs. Finally they get tired after so much crying and talking they go to slp. The nxt day they wake up and cry again. Cycle goes on. Tt happened to me too! Ask my friends who listened to me psycho babble. Thankfully I managed to stand up again and my friends are not wearing hearing aid. Thanks again friends. =D

Okay this has nothing to do with today's topic I juz have to say this. Why do pple stir shit in your life because their's is full of shit? Alvin told me it's because misery loves company. And I think misery makes a nice person an ass. Serious. And why do some pple only call u because they need your help? In chinese.. I don't know if it's written this way but it's pronounced this way. 无事不登三宝殿. I think this is a totally wrong way of writing it. But my chinese has always been f9 at the most c6. Pple who know the correct way of writing it.. could u pls lemme know? HEHE. Thanks!

You know... I still have so much to say. But I have this problem with writing... I juz CANNOT phrase it out. But I can say it out. But after so much of talking to myself and typing what I said for this blog entry. I'm getting a little tired. Plus Alvin's look on his face makes me wanna sleep more. He's sleeping btw. And although I have a strong temptation to maple... I would go to slp coz I think I'm mapling too much. *Yawns* Hope I don't wake up too late. Tata!

Romance CAN be cheap

An answer to Alvin's Entry. Yes. Romance can be cheap. For ladies looking for true love and not material luxuries. Romance can be very cheap. Hell, Alvin didn't spend anything on me except for tt $6.90 piggy bank tt still stands on my table. AND he shared the $6.90 cost with at least 3 other pple. Oh and they also shared the cost and bought a cake for my birthday. So effectively, he only spent at most 15bucks on me. And I was still completely dazzled by him. See? Cheap.

One fine evening, shortly after we got together. We were going to pastamania for dinner. On our way we walked passed this shop tt has this incredibly cute ashtray. So I told him "Eh... tt ashtray very cute hor? I like very long lei. But never buy". When we reached home, he told me to grab this plastic bag frm his bag. As I took a peek inside... it was the ashtray I wanted. Although I didn't recall him leaving my side. Except when I was at the toilet. But the toilet is too far away for him to make a dash for it and buy the ashtray without me knowing. Till now, I have no idea when and how he got me the ashtray. Price of ashtray - $5.90. Cheap hor? But it made me very happy.

My keychain broke and fell off. I've got no keychain. After his meeting with his CEC president guy.. he got me a piggy keychain. Yes.. I have this thing for pigs. And knowing tt I love soups.. he got me a packet of mushroom soup too. You know why I love soups and tofu? They don't require any/much chewing. Heh Heh. I'm one lazy pig. Price of Keychain - $10.90(estimated)
Price of soup - $7.90(estimated).

I love Nicholas Sparks. He got me my favourite The Notebook and another one called Message in A Bottle. Which I only managed to finish chapter one for 2 months... I think? LoL. He got me the books to pass time. Since I have so much on my hands. YES! ENVY ME. Anyway.. both books didn't cost more than $15.

Last month, he saw tt I always put my phone on my handphone pouch. To prevent scratches from hard surfaces ma. So he bought me a piggy handphone stand. Tt by far is the cutest piggy he ever bought me. Cost of handphone stand - $12.10

One night we were at reef.. the lady boss kept walking pass me. And the scent tt she's wearing attracted my nostrils. I asked the lady boss what perfume she was wearing. About a week lata... Alvin got me the perfume. Cost of perfume - $59.90 (estimated) This is a tad over budget.. but very thougtful isn't it?

Along the way.. he also bought me many other things. Like a clay coaster tt is now a decorative on my table. It reads "Women are made to be loved not understood". And a scented candle for romantic purposes la. *shy* Btw, the scent is really nice.

It's not the price of the gift tt counts. But the thought tt matters. What Alvin bought for me wasn't extremely pricey. Not some tag heuer watch tt I've been eyeing tt costs thousands which I totally DO NOT need. Things like these in my current situation are for my admiration only. Most importantly, Alvin put in the effort to look deeper and see what I really need. Which is very thoughtful and sincere. Tt for me... is romantic enough. A man who understands and makes a point to look further and see what I really need. Most important of all.... he is Alvin Wong. Nothing else matters. Hiaks!

Sleeping again!

The good news, my insomnia is improving alot. I still take a pretty long time to fall asleep. It used to be 5 minutes tops. And I'm off to dreamland... now it takes a little lesser than an hour. But I am sleeping through the night without waking up. And I get enough rest everyday. So tt to me... is great news! Now, I won't have to suffer those incessant yawning and giddiness.

In about another month's time, I'll be going back to school. Kinda afraid I won't adapt to the lifestyle quick enough. And tt my brain is probably a little slow. Since I haven't been studying for some time now. Effectively, I haven't exactly used my brain cells for a good say... 2 yrs? It's gonna take some catching up. But I'm sure I'll be fine. I gotta graduate with the damn diploma. Get a job and in the words of Richie.. join the rat race. Which in my case is absolutely correct since I'm born in the year of the rat. If the fortune teller was right.. then my career path should be quite successful since I'm the so called "golden rat". Not sure if it's true.. let's juz hope it is.

The past few days have been pretty fun. Although a private family affair has caused some weirdness between me and my mum. Finally got some closure on saturday night. Saturday was a good day. For once, I won money on the mahjong table. And I was playing with my aunts and uncle. 30 bucks may not be alot.. but it's not the money tt matters. It's the results I've shown. I've proven their "kids dunno how to play mahjong" theory wrong! And I'm damn proud. All thanks to my dearest who taught me some pretty valuable skills. And also practicing my mahjong with me on a weekly basis. Not forgetting my regular kakis who are always there when I need them for mahjong. LOL. Thinking about it... u guys still owe me mahjong money!

Okay, mahjong aside. Everything else in my life at least.. is going pretty well. Elisa is not giving me any problems. Tt was after I got her tt $8 necklace tt she couldn't afford. Which was quite amusing to me. How can my own sis be short of 8 freakin bucks. Sighs. As an elder sis, it's in my responsibility to buy tt necklace for her right? Don't you juz love sisters like me? Although Elisa, I would love it if u take ur studies a tad more seriously. My mum and I have resolved our problems. Although the weirdness is gonna take some time to go away. Alvin and I are... as usual. Picture perfect. Love ya darlin. You always manage to make me smile. =D

I'm going nuts

It's 5.20AM. I haven't slept at all.. not a wink. It's not tt I don't want to. I'm desperate to juz fall into deep slumber. But I can't. I'm suffering from insomnia... again. TMD.

I'm not in the least bit awake. In fact, I feel so giddy and drowsy. But when I lie down and try to sleep. I juz cannot do it for nuts. I try for hours and hours and hours. And I still can't knock out. I'm exhausted. My body is weak. My mind is wonked. I seriously need to sleep.

On lucky nights, I might fall asleep in about 2 hours time. But for no reason, I will automatically wake up in the middle of my sleep. And realise I only slept for abt an hour. It takes another hour for me to sleep. Then I'll wake up again. The cycle repeats itself. It's like a biological alarm clock.

I don't get enough sleep. I wake up early in the morning for no fuking reason. I try to go back to sleep, but I can't. But I'm still so tired. Not in the least bit refreshed.

eg. Alvin slept for 8hrs. I slept for 3. But I wake up first and fail to go back to sleep. Alvin on the other hand, is still in deep sleep.

I wish I could have tt kinda luxury. Unfortunately, I don't. In the day, I'll go about my daily routine feeling so fuking dizzy. I could be watching a show half way.. and suddenly I fall asleep on my chair. Or I would black out for a while. Everything in front of me disappears for a few seconds and come back. It's tt bad.

At least before I still manage to sleep in the day. Now, I can't sleep at all. I constantly feel tired. My body is probably about to collapse. I am slow and a lil retarded coz I'm not getting enough rest. I am seriously going nuts. Maybe I should see a doctor about it. I swear to God I was about to faint juz now. But I hung on and brought myself back to consciousness. Thinking back, maybe I shoulda juz fainted. At least by collapsing tt way, I could maybe get some rest. What the fuck am I thinking right? I'm so desperate. And seriously going crazy.

Help needed. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF STRONG SLEEPING PILLS ON DEMAND. Please give them all to me.... URGH. I'm at my wits end. 要死了啦!! Alvin tries to stay awake with me. But tt poor thing has to wake up early for work the nxt day. How can I drag him down to the road of no sleep with me right? HOW LIDDAT?

Scary Ladies?

I've always wanted to blog about this subject. But I never could... Actually, I blog about my fun, nonsensical everyday life. If nothing really huge (eg. I tio 4D first prize) or upsetting happens, I usually juz don't blog. It's not tt my life is boring, it's juz tt why would u wanna know what time I slept and woke up? Further more, not everything can be said out in the open. Yes, this is my blog. I CAN freely express whatever feelings, thoughts or opinions I have towards anything and anyone. BUT, by doing tt I may... Get myself jailed! xD Or... cause uneccesary annoyance to pple who think too much. Or... stir up trouble with my friends.

Say I blog about this - Why I hate the PAP. Which I don't! Repeat! I DON'T hate the PAP. It's juz an examplar. I may get into trouble and go behind bars. Then my Mama and Alvin will miss me. Elisa won't though, coz she'll get to enjoy my room. She'll probably want me gone as long as possible. Hor Elisa?

Or this - I think today SOME PEOPLE very attitude problem lei. Then anyone who met me today will think back and try to recall any "attitude problem" they have shown towards me. Some may think tt it's something they said made me say tt thing abt them. Which in the first place, tt sentence wasn't for them at all. Some may juz shove the whole thing away. Why bother? Well, tt will be me. AND some others will juz automatically assume you are talking about them. Then they juz automatically feel offended bcoz they don't feel they have done anything wrong. In the first place, you may not be talking about them. But by naming the person you might juz offend your friend. Which will lead to the third situation.

STIR UP TROUBLE WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

So, at the end of the day there is nothing much I can blog about. I have given alot of thought to closing down this blog. But like my mama says "You always 3 minutes hot degree ar!" (translate to chinese pls) I should continue.

I know this guy called erm... let's call him Peter. Peter has graduated for erm.. 6months I think. But has yet to find a permanent job. During these 6 months he has been temping. He now has a pretty good job offer tt pays well. BUT, there is one problem. He will be working with his girlfriend. And tt made him reconsider his future. Why do guys hate working with their girlfriends? This is what I've sourced out after tt eventful kopi session.

They will...
-Go to work together/Meet at a common MRT station and walk there together

-Lunch together (He may not have a choice with food anymore AND he may have to blanja as well. Apart from the weekends and occasional restaurant pampering tt he's been paying for. He now has to pay for her everyday lunch too. SHIT!)

-He has this natural obligation to wait for her if she has to do OT. If he doesn't he may get it BIG TIME. However, if he needs to stay back for OT she isn't obliged to wait.

-She cannot shut her big gap and carries on whining about work on the way home. Even though she is well aware tt she is no longer AT work.

-He MIGHT/MIGHT NOT have to send her home. Pray hard tt today, she lets off early and you have to stay back!

-Needless to say, HE will most probably end up with a percentage of close to zero alone time. It doesn't mean they see each other everyday at work on weekdays is enough. Weekends are still hers because working weekdays DOES NOT count as a day she SEES you.

Yes, if you have such a girlfriend. I take pity on you, I sympathise with you. It's an undeniable fact tt there are girls like tt around. And their mere existence in this world brings shame to me. For we are all females. BUT, not all girls are liddat ma! Take me for instance, I will NEVER be liddat. My friends are NOT liddat. And Peter, you say you don't condone stupidity right? Then I'm sure you can't look into the mirror now. Because now you're abit stupid. Don't let go of a golden opportunity tt may affect your future for one CHARBOR!!! GO GO GO!! WE SUPPORT YOU OKAY!

I apologise for the content at the front of this entry tt has nothing to do with the blog title. The examples tt I've stated above is PARTIALLY FALSE. I think Peter's taste in Charbors shouldn't be tt bad. LOL. Then again.... I won't know. =x

What have u done?

I know it's a little late for this entry. But I'm still gonna ask u anyway. What have u done with your progress package? I honestly have nothing to tell you coz... I didn't get no progress shit. I am JEALOUS! Good thing is... Alvin got his. And being the super nice boyfriend tt he is, I get to reap the benefits too. By benefits, I mean money.. and money = food. I am a pig. Come to think about it, Alvin and I don't really spend much. Our money basically goes to cabbing and food. Coz we travel to weird places for food at weird hours. And we order massive amounts of food. Okay, maybe massive is too exaggerating a word to describe. Let's change it to huge okay? First stop - 28th April. Changi Airport Terminal 2. Crystal Jade Restaurant.


Seafood and Braised tofu stew. It was good.. but a little bland.


Some kinda seabass. Whatever. The sauce was great! Alvin loved the skin.. as usual. And I hate the skin. See? Perfect match. hiak hiak. I had a little trouble with the bones. Other than tt. It was delicious.


Some kinda vege with 3 kinds of eggs. Recommended by the manager or something. This was the only dish I didn't fancy. Firstly, it looks like mixed grass and eggs. So messy. It tasted like erm.. it wasn't cooked. And it didn't smell good either.

We also ordered 烧肉 coz they were out of 猪皮 alr. So sad. Anyhow, the 烧肉 sufficed. We didn't take pictures of the 烧肉 and our deserts though. Coz the 烧肉 was too good and too little. Before we knew it, we gobbled it all up. The deserts were nothing special, juz durian pudding and 雪蛤.

Ladies and gentlemen, tt meal cost Alvin $100. OUCH! I pain for him.

Next day, 29th April 2006. We settled for something a little more economic. Since we booked tickets at Great World to watch The Sentinel. We went to the famous 亞華肉骨茶 at Havelock for dinner. On the way there, we met with a stupid jam on the pie. Imagine this. Tampines jam till kallang lor. To make things worse, I have motion sickness. Luckily, we were on a mercedes cab. Despite the jam, the trip was what I call smooth sailing. And Alvin was happy coz I wasn't whining. Men hate it when we whine ya know? But I can't help it. =x

The Bah Kut Teh is one napshot meal okay. Ya.. some old school slang I remember frm before. Napshot meaning very good. We really ordered ALOT of food. 2 bowls of kidney and liver (yeo ji and ti gua). One bowl of intestines.. what Alvin calls "hun tun". I dunno how to translate it to chinese. 2 bowls of bah kut teh, 1 bowl of salted vege and peanuts. And 2 bowls of rice. Alot hor? FUCKING DELICIOUS I tell you. Don't mind my french. It was tt good.. I now crave for it. DIE. I die for Alvin. Why? Coz I'm gonna beg him to bring me again. Hiak Hiak. Beware darling! This time, we totally forgot about the before. But I hope the after would suffice.


SEE! The 3 bowls with pink lines inside are the inside of the pig. Kidney, liver and intestines.. repectively. Alvin down-ed all of tt on his own. Coz I... only happen to take the pig's lean meat. And the big intestine when I'm eating kway chup. The 2 plain white bowls with flowers is the bah kut teh. The 2 orange bowls are the salted vege and 油条. The red bowl will be the rice lor. I wonder where's my bowl. Whatever... this is one hell of a meal. DELICIOUS. 亞華肉骨茶, You ROCK MY TASTEBUDS!

And the ramifications of tt dinner... 2 huge stomachs. I love tt feeling... seriously. I juz hate the visual. I look pregnant. EEEEW. Anyway, Alvin's evil plan to feed me till I balloon and look like a pig is working. Sighs. Why won't he believe me... pple will still chase me even I'm fat. =x Most importantly, I won't run ma. I would be too fat to move by then. Lol.

Okay! Tt's all for now. Till the nxt time I'm bored and not lazy. Take care pple. All the best to all muggin for exams. Study hard!!